Spiritual Journey.... an objective thinking!!!

I was lying down on my bed in contemplation after an easy day at work. Looking back at all the time that I have spent thinking and trying to find out what I really want from life. Every time I think abt it, I reach and touch a lot of stupid high level concepts, reach some conclusions and then forget it forever.
So this time I decided to try a different approach. I thought to myself that I will write down whatever comes to my mind just for the heck of it and to keep a track of where all I reached. The result was pretty good and I liked it. The most important thing was you spend more time with each thought piece. Contemplate it further and further for the correct direction. And an additional advantage was that I knew where all I went thinking, the conclusion can better be remember later because I have written it down never to forget. The rational of the conclusions are also recorded for revisit.
While personally I liked it, I thought I should put it up on the blog to may be help others on the similar path. Though I don’t share most of my writings, thought of making an exception this time around.. Let he who knows how to read ….read and understand the meaning  heavy words just for the punch line..lol…so here it goes word by word of my thought process diary…..


Nov 16th 2010
• What do I want in life?
Comfortable living
Happiness and peace and joy and satisfaction
Knowing the purpose of life
Ability to fulfill the known purpose of life
• What is the one most important thing in the above list?
Happiness, peace, joy and satisfaction. Because If I have these all the time, I don’t mind being born again for not having fulfilled my life purpose in previous life.
• Next most important thing in my life?
Knowing the purpose of my life. This is important as we just can’t always afford to waste time if there is a purpose in life at all.
o Why should there be a purpose in life? Life need not be the effect as we perceive but the cause itself. Can it not?
In this case, there is no need of a creator to give life, but life itself becomes the creator. Normal question like where did life come from is a parallel to where did God come from!!!! If there is nothing beyond life, life is the ultimate thing. It is like saying there is nothing beyond God.


About life

Life comes as it wishes, where ever it wishes, as long as it wishes and leaves as it wishes. Everyone knows it and loves it so dear, yet no one really knows it good enough!!!!!
So if life has so much of power as in the previous sentence, why can’t it take form in the inanimate objects? Also life requires support of other living beings to take form in it’s new existence and to sustain in there!!!!

• Whom do I want to be if I was to choose a person from history or imagination?
Christ
Bilgates
Buddha
Pele
Gandhi
God
Bernard Shaw
Mozart
Einstein
Newton
Pope
Mother Teresa

• Choose 3 of the above and then choose one from the 3.
Buddha, Christ and Mozart .
Buddha shall be the ideal role model for me.
• Why not Christ over Buddha?
Christ went through all the suffering and at last on the cross uttered the words of disappointment before death. Sounds like he himself felt that he failed or was not sure at the end. Too difficult to reach the level of tolerance to pain as Christ. Don’t want the pain in whatever form.
• Why not Mozart over Buddha?
Inner peace
• How do I know Buddha had inner peace?
Don’t know for sure. But if what he said and his disciples said is true, Buddha had inner peace and that is why he is the most soughed out role model for me.

So my ultimate aim in life is to become like Buddha and posses the below listed qualities that I attribute to attaining it.
• Have inner peace irrespective of the external conditions of pain or pleasure etc
• Should know what to do and what not to do at all times
• Shall have the perfect vision of the way forward at all times without fail
This is what I want in life and this is why I want it!!!
Now these qualities are attributed to Enlightenment and hence that should be something that I am seeking!!

Enlightenment comes to the one it chooses. One can do all the practices in the world for life long and still not attain enlightenment. On the other hand, one can be without having done anything special as practice and yet meet with enlightenment.
Lets take these as two cases
Case 1 : Does everything yet not enlightened even at death bed
Sacrificed every enjoyment and never got to indulge in anything
Almost failed to live life due to quest of enlightenment
Yet there was no guaranty of enlightenment

Case 2: Did nothing special to attain the result
Sacrificed nothing
Lived life to the fullest
Enlightenment was attained as a bonus
Even if there was no enlightenment, at least the person lived a good life

Case 1 also gets the result sometime, but there is no guaranty. But there is too much to risk as the entire life can get wasted in the quest and we are not sure of a 2nd life that we may get to live.
Hence case 2 should be more logical approach to take as there is no risk associated.

Hence path to be taken
1. Enjoy today’s life to the fullest
2. Be cautious and observant about tomorrow
3. Never let your tomorrow limit your today’s fun unless it brings perceivable pain like bad health, bad fortune etc due to misjudgment or vengeance from a hurt person, punishment from authorities etc.
4. Keep an open mind and do not stop searching for the bonus (enlightenment), but always without sacrificing anything major in life.
5. As much as possible, make the journey to enlightenment a joyful celebration and a happy one for your and people around you instead of a miserable one.
6. Never fall for things that you can’t directly experience at any point in the journey (empty promises like heaven after death or enlightenment by lifelong sacrifice or devotion or attempt etc should be kept away) -- The life you have in your hand is more important and more valuable than a better life that you may or may not get after death!!!!

As a rule of thumb in spiritual journey, if anyone promise a return for some kind of devotion, attempt etc, always ask for experience first and devotion later!!!! There is no such thing as “your today’s devotion bringing you experience tomorrow”. In other words in spiritual journey,” don’t hesitate to ask for result before payment”.

The above approach ensures: -
• No one steals from you your life in completeness that is given to you as a gift by the God almighty (if exist).
• No one leads you astray in the name of God and future heaven and after life. If God is powerful enough to create you, he is powerful enough to guide you to the right direction without the help of any mediators and prophets. He created you and so do not need to test you to know you better as he knows exactly what you are made of and you are just the way how he wanted you to be. You are not a mistake; you are a planned person if there is God. He does not need to know you through test of life as perceived, but we need to know him better.
• Let each man be observant and be his own teacher by following these guidelines
And in a situation where God does not exist (if anyone believes this), you still haven’t lost anything as you can live your full life happily by following this approach.

A midnight Introspection

What do we want in life?

To live life the way we want. Do the things we like.

Why? Why do we want to do this?

Doing this gives us sense of well being. Gives pleasure, Makes us happy, makes us satisfied etc. It gives as set of positive feeling in us which we enjoy.

Why?

Some of these things we want to do are physical in nature like eat good food, wear good cloths, live in a comfortable house, have sex, grow children etc. We can classify these as basic necessities.

Some are mental states like happiness, satisfaction, pride etc.

Physical needs are things we cannot do away with to sustain life and positive mental state becomes impossible to be sustained over long time without fulfilling physical needs.

So does constant supply of physical needs ensure positive mental states? No

We can safely assume that an everlasting positive mental state is the ultimate goal of every human being.

How can we ensure this mental state? Is it possible to achieve everlasting positive mental state? What are the steps to be taken to in order of priority?

1) Ensure physical needs are fulfilled on time. i.e. Health, food, cloths, house, sex etc

2) Ensure to keep away negative thoughts out of the way to ensure optimum mental state. This includes things that cause trouble to oneself and also to the ones around you who have the same objects in life like us

How can we try to achieve this in our day to day life in the current state of world in the easiest way?

1) Earn our living by means of our interest to ensure that our physical needs and reasonable pleasures are taken care of

2) Choose things of out liking for basic necessities and pleasure

3) Try to obtain positive mental state by providing required external conditions

4) Expect the internal conditions of positive well being to develop

Note: Pleasure is an external activity in which we engage to induce an internal likable mental state of our choice

Also note that activities of pleasure often go stale, or we will not be able to derive the same mental state of being by doing the same external activity over and over. Hence it becomes a necessity to rediscover the same activity or shift on to new activity over time.

This brings us to the point that even if we supply all the external conditions required, the internal likable state of being cannot be ensured.

In a way, we can say that the internal likable state of being is dependent on the external conditions required, but the provision of the same does not guaranty internal state of being.

So what if we attempt to separate internal from external by some means? Or make the internal state of being independent of the external conditions by means of some meditation or something? Can this ensure internal likable state of being? No

No. So we might need to check what cause the likable internal state of being more carefully.

What causes the likable internal state of being in us?

Satisfaction or meeting of the arising desire within us causes us to have a likable state of being. At least that is true for a short period of time.

Note: This brings to my mind that the word DESIRE is a very important concept in the opinion of Buddha and it is the cause of all pains in this world. But let us examine this further anyways

Can desire be controlled or avoided? If we avoid desire completely, can this ensure the positive likable state of wellbeing?

No. In fact it kills the positive likable state of wellbeing forever on the contrary, as desire and its fulfillment from time to time is what brings positive state of mental condition in human beings.

What causes Desire in us?

1) Physical needs like food, clothing, sex etc

2) Past pleasant experience and some kind of attachment that we develop to it. E.g. we had some food that tasted good and hence the desire to have that particular food arises when we think of it when we are hungry.

Or we can say that the memories of our past positive state of mind created as a result of our interactions with our five senses with the surroundings, our attachment to that particular state of being of our mind can be called as desire. In fact the longing itself is what is called as desire. Or it is the mechanism of our body that pushes us to replicate a once experienced favorable external condition over and over can be termed as desire.

Note: Attachment is also a very important concept in Buddhism.

The interesting thing is that the reconstitution of all the external conditions to reach that state of mind once again need not ensure the repeat of the same state of mind.

So what every individual is constantly trying to do is

1) To create an external state of being and in turn an internal state of being that can replicate an already experienced favorable state of being

2) Or the mind’s deduction of a new state of being that it considers to be favorable based on the past experiences of external conditions

3) And conversely we are also trying to constantly avoid a previously experienced negative external state of being.

Is the attainment of constant preferred physical and mental state of being possible?

What do we need to do to achieve this?

I can say that a state of well being for ourselves and a state of well being for people around us forever can ensure this forever.

Is this possible (at least for me)?

1) Satisfying needs

2) Should do away with as much of desire as possible as non attainment of the same can cause pain after effort to attain the same

But what if health fails for me or for people around me? What if someone around me suffers and or die?

So it is impossible for us to ensure that everyone around us is happy. All what we can try to do is for ourselves to be happy and try as much as possible to help others without getting attached to our effort.

Attachment can be a cause of pain.

State of constant good health of our self is also impossible. Hence we might need to do away with the desire of it.

Always eliminate all the impossible

Never desire for anything impossible or beyond our reach as it is the cause of pain

Or

Always restrict our desire to attainable things

If the present and what is at hand can be considered as the attainable, then what we need to do is live and be happy of the present. Or constantly redirect desires to our present.

Now if we consider the urge for the state of constant well being as a desire, is this desire attainable?

No. so we should ideally give up desire for this, instead take it a way of life without getting attached to it.

So further, constant state of physical and mental well being is also impossible hence the desire of the same should also be done away with.

So if we look at it more carefully, is it the desire that is causing the pain? No, Desire itself does not cause pain, it is the attachment to the result of our actions to attain the desire that is causing the pain. If the result is fulfilled there is no pain, but if it is not then there is pain.

This brings us to the Hindu philosophy outlined in Bhagavad Gita, “Do your karma without getting attached to the result”.

Another way of looking at our observation is that “Desire itself does not cause pain, but it the state of the world that cannot guaranty our desires that causes the pain. For that matter the world can be such that it refuse to give us even the basic necessities at times.

Or I can never be always happy due to the way the world (from our experiences).

Is there a solution to the problem?

The solution can be changing the world or changing our mind.

Changing the world’s state of being is impossible as we know, so this is ruled out.

So the option left out is changing the mind. Can this be attained? Can we tune our mind to have a constant state of well being?

Or if I rephrase the question, is the constant state of mental well being can over ride and hence a bad world condition can be nullified to still yield the same end result.

To recall again, what is the required mind condition?

1) Never desire for anything impossible (even permanent well being) ---way to avoid pain

2) Always desire for the possible (live in the present) ---way to be happy

I guess I got the way of life….at least till I lose it again…lol….:D

Lasting moments

It is not that I had anything less from that yesterday,
It is just that I wana breath more of it now;
Those moment that passed by,
I just think I wana have more with it now.

All that I miss now, is not because of my yesterday,
It is because of my today, far far away from yesterday;
It is not the bad of yesterday that makes me look back,
It is the good, it makes me look back and say I want more.

Well that yesterday was not so far away from me now,
But is too far away for me to reach to;
All I would ever wana do,
Is just get back there, and may be something more.

It is not that I had anything less from that yesterday,
It is just that I wana breath more of it now;
Those moment that passed by,
I just think I wana have more with it now.

So hey today, here I come!!
Don’t wana miss making this yesterday of tomorrow;
I would slow down and make this moment last,
And do everything to make this a worthy yesterday.

It is not that I had anything less from that yesterday,
It is just that I wana breath more of it now;
Those moment that passed by,
I just think I wana have more of it now.

Days from now, when I look back on this day,
It would be a worthy yesterday, worthy getting back to;
And on that day I wana look back, and may be sing a song,
A song that may ride like this as it goes by.

It is not that I had anything less from that yesterday,
It is just that I wana breath more of it now;
Those moment that passed by,
I just think I wana drink more of it now,
All I think is wana have more of it now.
Ooo this moment is gona last for sometime;
I just think I wana have more of it now.

The guitarist

Oohhhh; he has got some moves, that which is unique,
Moves across the stage with confidence,
Takes the crowd by heart, fills them full,
His motion slow and graceful, sometimes wild and weird.

Yaa baby that’s the way how he does it;
Better watch out and know what its’ all about
He is a guitarist, can take you by storm;
Yes, I bet he knows how to do it, and he does it really well.

Sets the rhythm of the show, makes you move with him,
Sometimes subtitle, sometimes up front,
His fingers glide across the fret, across your mind
Does his quick move from top to bottom, all effortless.

Yaa baby that’s the way how he does it;
Better watch out and know what its’ all about
He is a guitarist, can take you by storm;
Yes, I bet he knows how to do it, and he does it really well.

Stands on the stage in the most intrusive pose,
Makes his style statement, makes the ladies go Ohhh,
Legs apart, Cigarette in his mouth, chains on his neck,
The big buckled belt, fat pointed side locks, laser looks in his eyes.

Yaa baby that’s the way how he does it;
Better watch out and know what its’ all about
He is a guitarist, can take you by storm;
Yes, I bet he knows how to do it, and he does it really well.

The swiftness of his hand makes you go mad,
Makes you imitate what he does on the stage,
You can never know what he might do next,
Each moment keeps you waiting and wanting for more.

Yaa baby that’s the way how he does it;
Better watch out and know what its’ all about
He is a guitarist, can take you by storm;
Yes, I bet he knows how to do it, and he does it really well.

He has got his spell that can mesmerize you,
The tone that can cut through the rest of the music,
Reach you first before all the rest,
And makes you feel the guitar scream with ease.

Yaa baby that’s the way how he does it;
Better watch out and know what its’ all about
He is a guitarist, can take you by storm;
Yes, I bet he knows how to do it, and he does it really well.

Yaa baby that’s the way how he does it;
Better watch out and know what its’ all about
He is a guitarist, can take you by storm;
Yes, I bet he knows how to do it, and he does it really well.

Water for the mustard seeds

There were times when we used to be together,
When we both walked the world, you and me,
When we were friends of a different kind,
When we could assume each other there always.

There are times that I remember when our joy was shared,
The times when we had shoulders for of our sorrows,
Where ever we go we go together,
It was always you and me.

The fights that we had on silly things,
The moments of joy we shared in simplicity,
The love that we grew in,
The care that we exchanged.

Was there a time when you could not trust me?
Was there a time when you were struggling and I not there?
Was there a dream that you had that I didn’t know?
Was there any disconnect that ever separated us?

In times of trouble, the scoundrel is time
When it spins it’s web that you never dreamed of,
How are we to know, where are we to go?
We are mere mortals, in the hands of the clay molder.

The dreaded day came, the story made its twist,
Nothing that we saw before was nothing ever the same,
When I was away, just a hand stretch away,
You went your way, and I had to stay away.

Don’t really know if you called me to help
Don’t really know if you realized your move,
I do remember I saw you on your move,
But never realized, that you are on your move.

And that small move made itself big as life and death,
Caused a trench that not even time can heal,
Vagueness and emptiness surrounds all around me,
Existential nothingness prevents me from you forever more.

Here I am, now chasing the whorl wind,
All set try to make time and tide wait, forever and after
Crossing the same river many times in one life,
Catching words back, after it was spoken many times.

Moments that flash through my eyes, send shivers to my spine,
Coldness that touch me and linger all around me,
I wake up to a new morning, the morning of difference,
The piper plays his tunes, the mortals to dance to.

Consoled by prejudices, convinced by disbelief,
I walk the road again to dream on,
Console me not to and I might turn back,
I walk the road just to dream on.

Autumn

Few leaves on a tree, fluttering in the wind carelessly,
Shining in the sun, soaked by the mist,
Dew drops of cool mist in the air,
Due drops of cool mist all around,
Ruins of a beautiful day in the web of time.

By falls few leaves while others remain,
Falls in to the river, floats away in front of eyes,
I wonder if it autumn around the corner,
Wonder if it is autumn for all leave to fall,
Emptiness and memories that still remains.

Skipping heart beats that wake me up,
Only to find that it was just a dream,
How I wish it was just a dream,
Ooo I wish it was just a dream,
Were those flowers for real or in dream.

Moments that pass by, moments that bring tears to eyes,
All I wish for is the autumn to come,
When all leaves fall by and become dust with the sand,
When all leaves fall by to become dust of the ground,
When it is time for leaves just to fall,
when it is time for leaves, to become dust of the ground.

Trick or treat

Oo my sweet dreams, my hope for tomorrow,
Make me do things hoping for morrow,
Show me the bait for by showing me my morrow,
The trick or treat my bait for tomorrow!!!

It is this that keeps us going and doing,
The light in the eyes that keeps it glowing,
That which makes each day worth living,
That which tricks life worth its living.

The tot who sat by the butcher dreamed killing,
The tot who sat by the alter dreamed preaching,
The tot who sat by the sea dreamed fishing,
The tot who sat by the field dreamed playing.

Oo my sweet dreams, my hope for tomorrow,
Make me do things hoping for morrow,
Show me the bait for by showing me my morrow,
The trick or treat my bait for tomorrow!!!

I know not where they come from and go to
I know that it make us come from and go to
The beauty of the beast in its killing,
The more you taste it the more you want it.

Oo my sweet dreams, my hope for tomorrow,
Make me do things hoping for morrow,
Show me the bait for by showing me my morrow,
The trick or treat my bait for tomorrow!!!

So strong its clutches, so sweet its illusions,
So silent its weapons, so effective its poison,
All that was and all that is
And all that it ever is is just a trick or treat.

Oo my sweet dreams, my hope for morrow,
Make me do things hoping for morrow,
Show me the bait for by showing me my morrow,
The bait that would make me jump for my morrow!!!
Oo my sweet dreams, my hope for tomorrow,
Make me do things hoping for morrow,
Show me the bait for by showing me my morrow,
The trick or treat my bait for tomorrow!!!